いつも嘘をついて

Day -.- : I will finally write what I was planning to write on Day 9 unless I have already written it but forgotten but anyways it’s ok either way so please bear with me i’m really sorry, i really am and this title is way too looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

twigfur — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:24:25 +0000

Beads on a String

~~~

They walked around together, their casual chatter interrupted with joyful laughter every now and then, with a cheerful and friendly atmosphere surrounding the two of them. They were oblivious to almost everything but what was directly in front of them, so intent on their goal they were; and so, they almost missed a tiny stand on the side of the road, full of colorful beads that sparkled and silvery string that shone with a faint, pearly glow.

The brightness of the booth’s goods caught the pair’s eyes, and they walked over to gaze in awe and wonder at the magnificent variety and beauty of the beads. As one of them picked out a favorite few, the other eyed the price – it was cheap. Making an executive decision, he bought the beads that the other had been eyeing, and slipped them onto a string – making a bracelet of sorts – and turned to the other.

He asked if he could tie it on to the other’s wrist?

The other gave consent gladly.

And they left together, in the exact same way as they had come, chatting, happily and gladly – only this time, they left holding hands.

~~~

Sorry. Inspiration for this was from May…and I’m not inspired anymore QQ OTL

~~~

The world is black, black, black.

Pitch black; everything is darkness -

- an emptiness that aches -

- a pit of despair, slowly burning, burning, burning-

-dying, the soul, the heart, the mind, all dying -

what is left?

Day ???: I’m (/ my brain is?) (still) Alive~

twigfur — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:11:00 +0000

Ahahah. I guess I will write something here.

This is my English homework.

Aha. 0.0||

~~~

A seemingly lively, bustling marketplace – a tottering three-year old with his smiling face upturned, exuding innocence from his very being, stretching out his tiny hands towards a middle-aged woman hurriedly shopping for groceries, tumbles harshly to the ground as he is cruelly pushed away without a thought, as the lady clutches her fancy, branded bag close to her, practically running away from the child; a deceptively peaceful workplace – the young intern who rushes around the building, copying countless files and working endlessly to make ends meet, is tailed and watched constantly by her boss as he waits for her to slip up, to make an error, a mistake; a world that appears to be running smoothly, but is in fact a morass of chaos and despair, filled with people who live in perpetual fear of one another, people who are friends one day and enemies the next, people who do not have hopes or dreams, beliefs or convictions, or perhaps even the will to live – people who exist with the terrible sentiment of “kill or be killed,” and will trample on and destroy others in order to survive — this is the bleak fatality of a world devoid of trust.

Always having faith in people, no matter what their actions are; always taking for granted that their motives are pure and their hearts are filled with kindness; always and unwaveringly forgiving, when they do not, cannot keep their promises; and never, never doubting — trust encompasses all of these, and more.

But most importantly, trust is the firm, unshakable belief in the goodness of all humanity. Trust can only exist alongside this belief; and with trust comes hope – individual aspirations, as well as hope for all of mankind – and the promise of a brighter future.

Day ?: defensive barriers.

twigfur — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 08:04:58 +0000

Throughout my life, I have slowly built up a collection of walls, fences, and other barriers – and it’s a rather impressive one, if I may say – around what one could call a heart; it was not altogether a deliberate action, but more of a defensive strategy against the vicious attacks at my character, my personality, my attitude, and ultimately, my soul. Since then, sharp words and demoralizing lectures no longer affect me as I have long since become accustomed to them, with them being daily occurrences. However, in my foolishness, I did not completely block myself off from everything, and left a gaping hole in the fortifications of my defenses; because I experienced it so infrequently, I was left unprepared and susceptible to its assaults.

What is this, you ask?

It is kindness.

Day – I don’t know what but I’m really sorry – : Remorse

twigfur — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 19:00:33 +0000

She first noticed it in her stomach – dark, clenching feeling – and marveled at it in quiet appreciation as it spread further, first through her chest, then through her legs, finally rushing through her whole body until she couldn’t stand anymore, her knees buckling beneath her as she collapsed on the floor in defeat.

~~~

Sorry for skipping almost two months now…I want to continue this though.

On the other hand, after staying in bed from around seven to twelve today, half asleep, half awake – not wanting to get out of bed – I’ve had a couple of really strange dreams, which I will hopefully not forget anytime soon.

Day 10: i’m slacking now…

twigfur — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 06:52:49 +0000

Losing motivation. I’ve already skipped two days…and delayed one…

~~~

A sudden downpour in June…

waking up in the morning

the sky, overcast

gloomy

tired

sleepy

gonna stay in bed

leaking skylights

drip

goes the rain

it drips

never-ending, into pots and pans, pots and pans.

a dirty yellow.

it’s wet

so wet

his voice, so deep-

-then a feeling of-

-disappointment-

so wet.

so cold.

it’s so cold.

Day 9: beads on a string

twigfur — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 08:14:07 +0000

>w< i’ll write this tomorrow morning…

Day 8: Unseen Circumstances.

twigfur — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 07:19:17 +0000

He glanced briefly at the whiteboard, bored of sketching the images that randomly popped into his mind; but the whiteboard provided no better entertainment, and so he sighed, reluctantly resuming his task of drawing towering skyscrapers and metal-winged birds.

Day 7 – alone

twigfur — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 07:00:22 +0000

I see your slender form in front of me, twisting as you turn to greet me with a running tackle and a hug, sounding out shouts of joy at my presence. Gladly, I return the hug, then bury my face in your shoulder, feeling at once both the urge to laugh and cry.

Our brief but touching reunion over, I follow you around as you converse to the people around us, laughing and talking about the most random things – even this brings you happiness – and I can only think of one thing: that you are strong.

You are amazing.

Everything life throws at you, all the problems, all the pain, all the sorrow, you throw back with effortless ease. You sail through the stormy seas of living on this earth without a worry, never looking behind, never regretting the past; instead, you always look forward with your bright, cheerful grin, determined to live your life the way you want to, no matter who or what stands in your way. Your enemies, these you will all defeat, or die trying, because you will never lose hope in your dreams. Your friends, the many that you have, will never forget you, and always keep you close to their hearts.

You are so bright, so beautiful, so brilliantly pure, that I can’t help but to clearly see the vast difference between us. In your presence, I can fully feel the expanse of my errors, my lost dreams, and all of my failures. In front of you, I feel so exposed, so completely bare -

- so unprotected, without my defenses of mistrust and scorn and disdain -

Weak.

I am so pitifully weak that I can only cling to you desperately, gasping out tears while grasping your hand in hopes that you will never let go; that you will never leave me, never abandon me, never reject me – never, never, never, never -

Please don’t leave me.

I don’t want to be alone.

Day 6: the night

twigfur — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 05:15:48 +0000

The wind stirred, then fell silent. All was quiet. The forest stood still, as if holding in a breath -

- a breeze blew gently past, ruffling the fall-colored leaves as it traveled by - the forest seemed to breathe again -

All was still.

The silence settled down as if to stay, happy in its newly found home.

All was still…

- what was that -

The soft swishing of the slightly damp grass broke the absolute silence. Normally too soft to be heard over the other noises in the forest, it now became unbearably loud in the absence of all other noise -

- swish swish swish swish -

The noise ended, only to start again with an increased pace -

- swishswishswishswishswishswishswish -

- growing louder and louder, stronger in intensity -

- SWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWI-

- … …. …. …. -

As abruptly as the noise had started, silence fell once again upon the dark, still forest. The whole forest held its breath once more, waiting, waiting for something –

A breeze picked up, a different one, blowing away the thick, dense clouds that obscured the moon; and the moon shone for the first time on that pitch black night, showing its brightly lit brilliance -

- and the forest screamed, crying out its terror and agony as it burst into flames.

Day 4 – 5: this feeling…

twigfur — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 06:23:29 +0000

As he approached the magnificently shining castle, his footsteps, normally so fast-paced, slowly drew to a stop. Having not noticed this change in pace until he actually paused, the boy looked down at his booted feet with great bewilderment.

“Why did I stop walking? I definitely wasn’t planning on it…Oh well, time to move, I have to get to the castle before noon…”

Thinking somewhat along this train of thought, the boy began to lift one of his feet up, only to find with great astonishment that he couldn’t; or rather, his body stubbornly refused to continue walking.

The now extremely confused boy started to panic – after all, he really did have to be at the castle by noon, and he was already running late – and beads of sweat ran down his forehead as he contemplated his dilemma with great worry.

~~~

“Stop panicking…stop panicking…start thinking….yeah…that…um. Maybe I should try moving some other direction?”

Realizing that there was another possible line of action, the boy took a step backward with great determination. To his surprise – and relief – he was able to walk backwards. Thinking that the problem, whatever it was, had been fixed, he charged forward, aiming to regain the lost time that had passed, only to find that he was stuck in the same place.

Again.

He tried this several times, each time with greater haste, but they all led to the same conclusion: him being stuck in the same place, as if there was an invisible wall that someone had placed in front of him, blocking his path. Frustrated, the boy began aimlessly kicking the leaves around him, leaves that were teal and had a faintly pink tint — but wait –

“Leaves? And not only leaves…but blue leaves…I was sure I was walking on a road earlier…and now, I’m kicking leaves? How can that be…”

And yet, it was. He looked nervously around, and found himself surrounded by trees, tall and grand, bushes, a few here and there, and under his feet, a soft carpet of grass, all in varying shades of a calm, subdued teal. It was all very disconcerting to him when what should have been there was a dusty dirt road bordered by acres of dry, yellow weeds. Then it occurred to him to check and see if the castle had changed, and he looked up – but no, it was still there, standing proudly in this foreign world, as if nothing had changed.

Sighing, he began to resume his attempts of walking towards the castle, his feelings of urgency to reach the castle overwhelming his shock of being in this strange new place…but if the castle was still the same, then perhaps he was just daydreaming, hallucinating — something like that.